Saba 22 May 2009 Mind Like Water 2 Comments Print This Post  Email This Post

 

She loves him like the morning dew loves the lush grass. They have a remarkable son together. Despite being torn apart by hatred between their families, the two lovers manage to unite once more. But when death comes to him, union could be no more. Her family would sway and soften but not the Angel of Death. How did she endure the death of her darling? How did she live without the one she followed to the Ethiopian desert? How did she sleep knowing the love she weeped for under the Arabian, sweltering sun was now below the ground?

Very simple actually.

Umm Salama (radhi Allahu unha) is an intelligent women. When her husband dies, the Prophet sallahu alayhi wasalaam consoles her and she holds his advice like a smart driver holds her steering wheel on highway of hardships. The Prophet sallahu alayhi wasalaam instructs her to say:

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun. Allahumma ajirni fi musibati, wa akhlif li khayran minha

To Allah we belong, and to Him will we return – O Allah, reward me for my affliction and replace it for me with that which is better.

Umm Salamah keeps repeating this dear du’a, with faith as firm as a fist. She doesn’t deny her condition for she does ask “who could be a better husband than Abu Salamah?” So what happens to Umm Salamah? Lets return to her later as we look at …

The Dealthy Divorce

If you’ve parted from your ex, you probably asked “How will I ever get over this deathly divorce? How will I ever get ‘that which is better’?” You’re not alone.

Divorce is especially high amongst Muslims with a mental illness. If you have two friends, statistics predict one is likely to have a divorce. But if you have 10 friends with mental illness (you’d be a very strong friend), then 9 of your friends are likely to get a divorce. The rate jumps from a staggering 50% to a distressing 90%*.

I was among those 90% and that’s when I met Umm Salamh, well not literally One of my beloved sisters taught me this du’a and wow! My affliction is replaced with that which is better, alhumdulillah because…

The Delicious Du’a Delivers!

For over two years, I thought when will ‘the better’ in my du’a come? I was too busy thinking to take notice of the better that had already come.

A du’a delivers when you deliver. Meaning, make du’a and get to work sister! Allah is responsible for the results. Your job is to do the work and seek the better. You must acknowledge the good you have now and work towards making the better happen.

This du’a like others is not a one-time saying. Quite the opposite. Say it now, put it on your mirror, put it in your heart and start believing and reciting it.

If the divorce happened, it was all the for the better because Allah always does every single thing for the best. No Ms. Yeahbuts only…

Diamonds from Divorce

There are many diamonds in aftermath of a divorce. What are you doing to dig them?

Here’s 2 ways to start digging for diamonds now:

1. Memorize this du’a. Say it often especially when bitter divorce thoughts scream in your mind. This du’a directs your mind to focus on the good that is and in sha Allah will come out of the divorce. The positive thinking is built into this du’a!

2. Now make a list of 10 rewards you enjoyed because of your divorce. I’m not saying to jump for joy in la la land. No doubt, there is alot of pain in a breakup. But with the pain, there is much gain. What have you gained?

Share your answers here and help other sisters benefit.

One of the greatest rewards I enjoy because of the divorce is MorningWind. I wouldn’t have learned and shared so much about mood disorders if I didn’t face a divorce, Allahu alam.

Oh and guess who Umm Salamah married Our beloved Messenger sallahu alayhi wasalaam. Talk about ‘that which is better’!

What have you learned from your divorce? What have you learned from your hardships?

*If you are having sand storms in your relationship right now, do your best to keep the relationship together. This post is meant to help sisters who had a divorce and are still drowning in its drama.