Lots of celebration and food!

Before the wedding, I was so worried about having an episode during the festive time.

But alhumdulillah, all went smooth except for what happened a few weeks before the wedding.

I’ve experimented a lot with bipolar triggers and how they affect my health.

And as you and I both have learnt, sleep disturbances and deprivation can cause major bipolar episodes.

Before, I thought that if I slept late, I would sick.

But the opposite it also true. A couple of weeks ago, I started waking up at 4:30am to go to the gym. And after a week of doing that, I started getting paranoia thoughts.

Alhumdulillah I was able to figure out that the trigger for these thoughts was sleep disturbance before it got out of hand.

And that’s the benefit of having knowledge about mental health: you can prevent major disasters from taking place.

According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, one in five Canadians will experience mental illness at some point in their lives. Indirectly, mental illness affects just about all Canadians — marking the lives of family members, friends and colleagues; spanning across all ages, educational and economic backgrounds and cultures. Despite the growing prevalence of mental disorders, for many people mental illness remains an issue that is only spoken about in hushed whispers and behind closed doors. Saba Malik is a young Muslim who has committed herself to challenging the stigma surrounding mental illness, after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2004.

“I had a long bout of depression followed by a mania episode,” Ms. Malik a Montreal-based blogger, life-coach and author explains, sharing how she was first diagnosed. “I had no idea what was going on, I simply attributed all the emotional roller coasters to my personality. My parents then took me to the hospital and the psychiatrists later diagnosed me with bipolar.”

Bipolar is a mood disorder that is experienced by approximately 1 per cent of all Canadians. While changes in mood and feelings such as happiness, sadness and anger are normal reactions to everyday life, for people with bipolar, control over shifting moods is lacking and mood swings are not typically related to life’s events, but are triggered by stressful life events. Mood swings can range from emotional highs (mania) to emotional lows (depression) and the condition can range from being mild to being severe, as Ms. Malik explains.

“Bipolar occurs within a spectrum and different moods could be involved like irritability, anger, depression and anxiety,” she says. “Mania usually has delusions and grandiose thoughts. Depression can have negative thinking, low energy and suicidal thoughts.” For Ms. Malik, her diagnosis was followed by a two-year period of denial.

“Bipolar is a beauty and a beast,” she describes. “I pushed it out of my life for more than two years, because I was judging myself on stigmas I had internalized over the years. I didn’t want the crazy label. When I finally swallowed my pride and accepted I could be sick, it became easier to let bipolar in the door. Moreover, I started to see bipolar as a test from Allah. Seeing the illness as a trial made me search for the ‘bipolar beauty’.”

It was this acceptance of the disorder and the search for the bipolar beauty that lead Ms. Malik to start an online blog in 2008, MorningWind.org, to function as a place not only for her to share the lessons she learnt from bipolar, but also to help support others in the Muslim community who are struggling with mental illnesses.

“In the beginning of my acceptance period, I searched endlessly for Muslims who also had bipolar,” she says, explaining how the blog first got started. “I wanted to connect with them and share my bipolar pains and pleasures. In the end, I was just looking for someone who would understand bipolar and lend a compassionate ear. And when I didn’t find Muslims with bipolar or mental illnesses, I started blogging. Mental illness can be really isolating, especially in the face of ignorance. My blog helps to get rid of that isolation and break the walls of ignorance.”

Ms. Malik hopes her blog will help other Muslims in the community, who may be suffering from mental illness and are afraid to seek help.

“I’ve felt alone and shunned merely because of an illness Allah tested me with and continues to test me with,” she says. “I don’t want any human, Muslim or non-Muslim, to go through that pain. I hope that my blog offers a fresh breeze of hope for the many Muslims suffering in silence and shame.”

Despite the fact that mental illness can be treated effectively, many suffering from mental illnesses hesitate to accept diagnosis and treatment, due to attached stigmas that prevail in society. Studies show that 49 per cent of people who have suffered from depression or anxiety have never sought medical attention. Many factors prevent people from speaking about their struggles with mental illness and going to a doctor, including ignorance about mental illnesses, as well as the stigma that is often attached to mental illness. According to Ms. Malik, education is key to breaking this stigma and allowing people with mental illnesses to feel part of the community.

“The stigma and taboo surrounding mental illness can be broken through education,” she says. “I also think it is important for more Muslims with mental illnesses to come out and start a dialogue. This communication will insha Allah (God willing) normalize mental health conditions and remove much confusion. Moreover, the community can then see that Muslims with mental health conditions are living fulfilling lives.”

After completing her bachelor’s in Education from McGill University, Ms. Malik is now pursuing studies in Psychology at Concordia University. In addition to spending time working on her blog, she is also currently training for her second half-marathon (21k).

“Running is a great outlet for all the stress bipolar can cause,” she says. “Exercising is great for mental health. I encourage everyone to pick an activity they like and have fun with it, your brain will thank you for it.”

Since starting her blog, Ms. Malik has also published two e-books, entitled “The Muslim’s 5-Step Guide to Bipolar Mastery” and “When You’re Muslim, You Can Manage Depression with Islam.” Both books are available for free on her blog. She is currently working on her third book, which will cover common misconceptions people have about mental illness.

Accepting her diagnosis of bipolar has helped Ms. Malik to get the help and support she needs to manage the disorder and live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life. In addition to medicine, therapy, exercise, a healthy diet and a supportive network, she also credits frequent supplication as something that has helped her through her struggles with bipolar.

“When I’m sick, I have so many thoughts and voices hammering in my head,” she says. “So it’s taken me years to transform those thoughts into prayers. Accept the disorder as a test from Allah. When you get a broken leg, you don’t go into hiding and drown yourself in shame. Instead you go to the doctor and make dua to Allah for a speedy recovery. Similarly, if you have a mental illness or you feel emotionally stressed, see a mental health professional. Join a support group. Get the help you need and educate yourself. And throughout all this, keep talking and praying to Allah. God has been my best friend.” ■

Hello!

Well I pray of course but besides that I spend time with my family, husband and kids.

My daughter Reilly (8 years old) seems to bring a smile to my face on my darkest of days. Playing board games with her, shopping or doing our hair together is a real treat for us both.

I also make sure to see my doctor and take my meds.

My mother, who is my best friend, is a big support to me. So we spend time together and it helps to laugh and talk over coffee.

My sister is also a big support and a best friend. We act nutty together like kids lol. So I guess I rely a lot on the support of others to keep my sanity.

I hope you are all blessed and feeling well!

It was a while back.

But it’s finally here!

You can find part one of the recipe here.

Making the perfect Moroccan couscous requires that you cook the couscous three times. You also need the pot in the picture.

The pot has two pieces: a bottom and a top. We put water in the bottom part and let it boil. The steam from the water comes through the tiny holes in the top pot. The couscous goes in the top pot and is cooked with the steam.

It takes about 2 hours to cook the couscous but it’s worth it!

Serves: 12

Ingredients:

• 3 cups couscous, uncooked
• 6 cups water
• 1/3 vegetable oil
• 1 tbsp salt
• Couscous pot like in the picture on the right

Instructions:

1. In a bowl, mix the salt in the water.
2. Put the couscous in a big container.
3. Add 2 cups water and 1-2 tbsp of the oil.
4. Mix with your hands and separate all lumps.
5. Set aside for 10 minute.
6. Fill the bottom couscous pot with water half-way. Put the top couscous pot on securely (the water will boil and the steam will cook the couscous in the top pot).
7. Boil the water.
8. After ten minutes have passed, place the moist couscous in the top pot.
9. Wait till steam starts to come through the couscous. When it does, cook for 15 minutes.
10. Remove from the top pot from heat and put the couscous back in the big container.
11. Let the couscous cool for a couple of minutes.
12. Then repeat steps 1-10 two times.

You can mix and match this salad with all sorts of fruits. Try tangerines and pears in place of strawberries. Or any other fruit that suits your fancy! You can replace the pistachio with different nuts too.

I’ve made so many different versions of this salad, it’s amazing!

Enjoy

Ingredients

3 Tbsp unsweetened orange juice

1 Tbsp canola oil

2 tsp balsamic vinegar, aged-variety

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/8 tsp table salt

4 cup(s) mixed greens

1 cup(s) strawberries, sliced

1/4 cup(s) semisoft goat cheese, crumbled

2 oz salted dry-roasted pistachio nuts, coarsely chopped

1 kernel(s) shelled pistachio nuts

Instructions

In a cup, stir together juice, oil, vinegar, pepper and salt; set aside.

Arrange mixed greens in a large shallow bowl; top with strawberries, cheese and nuts. Just before serving, stir dressing and drizzle over salad; toss gently but well.

Yields about 1 1/4 cups per serving.

I am not a fan of goat cheese so I usually leave that out. The salad sans the cheese also makes it lighter.

Source: Weight Watchers

With fewer than two weeks left until Concordia’s exam period ends, students like Aalia Adam are feeling the pressure.

“I’m going crazy!” says Adam, a journalism student. “I just want it to be over. I only have two exams but it’s been really hard to focus because they’re my last exams for my degree and I’m flying to India in a week. So my mind is all over the place but I’m trying to stay disciplined and convincing myself that it’ll all be over soon.”

Many other students are in the same boat.

“I’m constantly worried and stressed about getting everything done on time,” says film studies student Kimmy Fox. “I’m just counting down the days and rewriting my to-do list as much as possible. It’ll be an awesome feeling to hand in those last papers, that’s for sure.”

Dale Robinson, manager of Counselling and Psychological Services at Concordia, says that the end of term always brings with it an increase in the number of students seeking the help and services of Concordia’s Counselling and Development Department.

“You walk around campus at this time of year and the student stress is almost palpable,” she says. “You can just feel it in the air.

“We have more crisis walk-ins and we also have more students who maybe don’t show up for their regular appointments because they’re studying or they forgot they had a paper to do. And we definitely see more people who might show up really stressed out or not feeling well.”

Robinson offers the following tips for students who are feeling the stress of exam time:

Take care of yourself

This means eating well, using exercise as an outlet to relieve stress, and avoiding bad sleep patterns or all-nighters.

“You want your body and your mind in their best state. Self care is really important and to stay up all night and do those kind of things doesn’t bode well, not only for the body of the student but also for the quality of work that they’re going to be able to do.”

Avoid unhealthy, short-term solutions

Some students may think that a night of drinking will help relieve their exam worries, but Robinson says that isn’t the case.

“It’s not a good long-term goal, for obvious reasons, because it messes up your system,” she says. “At a certain point alcohol can be like a depressant and impact your mood, and the same thing is true with drugs. It’s not a good long-term coping mechanism.”

It’s all about balance

“Some students think that they can study 12 hours a day and it doesn’t matter if you eat or sleep well, or see your friends, or go to the gym,” Robinson says. “Forgetting about balance and only thinking about school is not the way to go. You’re going to end up burning yourself out.”

Visualize the end of exams

Robinson suggests that students focus on their end goals.

“It’s kind of like when you’re running a marathon and you have this picture of crossing that finish line,” she explains. “It’s the same thing for students. They should picture themselves crossing that finish line — having the summer to relax, or graduation, or taking a trip. Whatever it is.”

And lastly, you don’t have to be stressed

“There’s some sort of belief that if you’re not stressed for your exams then you’re not really putting everything in,” Robinson says. “Students think that they have to be stressed to approach their finals when actually it’s the opposite. The calmer that you are and the more grounded that you are, the more you’re going to be able to pull out of your memory when you go into your exams.”

Students can make an appointment with a member of the Counselling and Development team at either campus, in person or by phone,

Sir George Williams Campus: Room H-440, Henry F. Hall Building (1455 De Maisonneuve Blvd. W.), 514-848-2424, ext. 3545.

Loyola Campus: Room AD-103, Administration Building  (7141 Sherbrooke St. W.), 514-848-2424, ext. 3555.

Recently I have been feeling very stressed and anxious about my school work, for no apparent reason.

And I just dont know what to do or how to cope with it. And because of this I have been feeling very sad for a while now.

I feel almost isolated from my friends and family.

I didn’t know who to talk to or what to do. And then I thought of you after reading your blog about helping Muslims with mental illnesss called MorningWind.

I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how I can handle my anxiety and stress.

JazakAllah Khair.

- Sister

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bismillah

Asalaamu alaikum Sister,

JazakiAllahu Khairun for asking me such a good and important question.

You’re not alone sister. A lot of students have stress and anxiety. The challenge is how do we cope with these two feelings?

I have four terrific tips that can help you master stress and anxiety. These are tips that I personally use to master these emotions. These mastery tips are also supported by research (Wade 2010).

1. Call to Allah because He answers

The first thing you want to do in a stressful or anxious situation is calm down. And what best way to calm down then to remember Allah. You can recite any dua or adhkar you like.

Why does remembering Allah help?

Well firstly, you are turning to the One who is testing you with anxiety and stress in the first place. And secondly, research shows that mindful meditation calms the mind, the brain and body.

2. Straighten out the Stress

When you are feeling “stressed and anxious about my school work”, praying does help. But saying subhanAllah is not going to make the school work get done on it’s own. If only. In order to master the stress and anxiety, you need to solve the problem that’s causing it.

Allow yourself to feel the anxious and stressful feelings. Write about it or talk about it. Then pull yourself up fix the problem at hand. Maybe you need to get that assignment done. Or maybe you need to spend some quality time with your family and friends. Do what you have to do.

3. Reframing 

Sometimes you try to fix a problem that is causing you stress and anxiety but you just can’t. Some things are out of your hands. In that case, the best way to deal with the problem is to change the way you look at it.

For example, a sister might have a loved one who gets sick. This causes her a lot of problems. She can’t make the illness go away but she can change the way she looks at it. If she chooses to see the illness as a way to help her loved one, then it’s not such a bad thing anymore.

In fact, it can become a way to come closer to Allah. It also helps to look at people whose situation is much worse than hers.

4. Seek Support

Sister, you’re already doing so. Ma sha Allah! So keep it up. I also recommend that you seek support from you trusted sisters and friends.

Don’t exhaust one source of support. Instead, reach out to different people. I also run facebook support groups if you need that extra cushion

I hope this answers your question.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

Wasalaam

Saba Malik

I need some urgent help. I’m Muslim but there is a significant part of me that suffers from severe hypersexuality.

I live in Montreal. These hypersexual episodes will happen once a week or once every two weeks. Very rare do I longer than 2 weeks without an episode. I have been struggling with these episodes for the last 15 years of my life. I’m hitting rock bottom, countless times.

In these episode, I’ll often rent hotel rooms and call escorts over, burning 100s if not 1000s of dollars.

Or I’ll look to picking up girls on the street or on the internet. Sometimes I’ll even resort to watching internet porn for 2 days straight without drinking water or eating food or getting any sleep, I become mentally stuck and then look horrible after the episode has passed.

I am suffering so much that it’s beyond expression. Someone referred me to your blog.

I’m 27 years old and need tips on how I can control this or put a stop to it, please leave the spiritual element out for now.

Is there something I should eat or do during these episodes or before in order to mitigate or eliminate the suffering.

Also, I wanted to let you know that you are one strong sister! You have been brave enough to go public with your illness and in doing so, you have brought much needed awareness to it and given guys like me the opportunity to learn and seek help.

You’ve also done a fine job yourself of battling the illness. I have tons of respect for you, you make me feel like a wimp lol.

Please don’t think low of me, I know im really f***** up.

I look forward to hearing from you.

For now just refer to me as Alex.

—–

Bismillah,

Wa alaikum asalaam Alex,

You are incredibly brave for asking help.  Ma sha Allah. I don’t think low of you. I think you are strong for admitting that you have issues with hypersexuality.

May Allah make the path to recovery easy for you.

Since you mentioned you are suffering from hypersexuality, are you seeing a psychiatrist for the bipolar?

If not I suggest you start there and get your meds in order. Start going to therapy also.

As for specific tools to help you with the hypersexuality, I recommend you do that following:

1) Join brother Zeyad’s Purify Your Gaze program. He works with Muslims with sexual addictions.

2) Attend Sex Addicts Anonymous in Montreal.

3) A counsellor friend of mine, Linah Hashimi, recommended that you do the following:

The next time you feel a hypersexual episode coming on, try to delay engaging in sexual activities for as long as you can. You will probably feel like crap but using deep breathing, exercise, distractions could help you get through that time. The point is to slowly build up your ability to resist the temptation. It is like quitting smoking but unfortunately there is no patch.

I also hope that you will turn to the spiritual element later on or even now. I don’t mean for you to turn to ritualistic means to solve your addiction.

But I do mean for you to develop a sincere relationship with Allah. Talk to Him as your true friend. He understands what you are going through.

His door to forgiveness is always open.

I pray Allah gives you the best of this world and the next.

Wasalaam

I am happy to come across your e-book on mental illness and your blog.

I am an Aboriginal Muslim woman from up North. I became Muslim three years ago. I have lived in Ottawa for the past ten years.

I am on sick leave from work for the past six months now because of bipolar.  I went through therapy for a few years because of past traumas and abuse. I developed phobias, anxiety, post traumatic stress along the way.

As you mention, you relied on the medications more than God. I did the same. I relied more on the medications to the point that it would cure me.  I know now from your book that it’s only Allah that has the power to do so, Insha’Allah.

To complicate things, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and arthrosis. My whole body is in aches and pains for the past fifteen years.

Now I’m thirty-six years old. I have this chronic illness and I have to accept it. But I did not know how to manage it.

Before, I never felt the pain because I was drunk and since I sobered up three years ago, I feel every ache on my body.  I hope to learn more on how to manage depression, anxiety, bipolar, stress and fibromyalgia in an Islamic way and to rely more on God.

I am looking forward to reading more of your depression e-book.

Nice meeting you and salam alaikum.

Sister Malak

My judgement became impaired. I wasn’t normal anymore.

And alhumdulillah, on Monday, March 19th 20120 I had an above normal experience.

I stood in front of McMaster MSA and shared my crazy story JazakAllahu Khairun to all those who helped organize this event, especially Faiza Khokhar.

All I can think of now is “Verily, after hardship, there is ease.” Quran (94:5)

When you examine the Arabic word for hardship, it is ausri. Ausri is singular and refers to one hardship.

The Arabic word for ease is yusra. Yusra plural and refers to many moments of ease.

And how true this ayah is!

For right after my talk at McMaster MSA, I got two more offers to speak, ma sha Allah.

Allah has made bipolar a blessing for me.

We have the power and choice to turn any hardship into a way to get closer to Allah.

I know many of you wanted to come but couldn’t be there.

Fortunately for you, McMaster MSA recorded the event. In sha Allah the video will be up soon.

Check back here in the coming days!

Have a blessed Jum’uah