Saba Malik 11 May 2011 Mind Like Water 5 Comments Print This Post  Email This Post

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Salaam Saba,

First of all I want to thank you for such an awesome website. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 4 years ago, starting my freshman year at college and have been hospitalized a few times since then. Alhamdula I’m a lot more stable than i was before.

But, this post really hit home for me. Sometimes I feel awesome. I want to acheive goals and I LOVE life and feel appreciative of those moments.

But, other times I feel just like this post, really helpless and just trying not to drown into my negative thoughts. I feel like a lot of times I just go through life to please God and my parents. I’ve been having ups and downs and feel like I have never reached a point of total satisfaction with my treatment.

I’ve been in therapy for the last 4 years. I’ve tried every medicine out there, and I pray as much as I can when I am able to. But i’m starting to really feel hopeless. They keep bumping up the dosage of my meds. I even convinced my docs to ween me off of meds one time, but I just started acting crazy.

Do you have any advice for me? Anything that will encourage me that it eventually gets better?

Thanks

Nada

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Wa alaikum asalam Nada,

Thank you for visiting my blog and asking my advice.

The fourth year of a bipolar diagnosis can be tough one. It looks like you are still adjusting to bipolar. Hang in there sister and in sha Allah this bipolar will be a purification for your soul.

I’ve had bipolar for seven years, and each year it gets easier. In sha Allah the same will happen with you as you learn more about bp and accept it as a challenge from Allah.

Feeling awesome sometimes, loving life and then feeling really helpless where you’re just trying not to drown into the negative thoughts is all part of the bipolar.

Bipolar makes us feel a spectrum of emotions within months, weeks, days and even hours. One minute you might feel very happy and the next you feel very anxious or sad or helpless.

The important part is to deattach yourself from the thoughts. The thoughts are not you. The negative and positive thoughts are just thoughts. And these thoughts are produced by the brain. And what does the brain do? It thinks. I can’t tell my lungs to stop breathing. That’s their job.

Similarly, I can’t tell my brain to stop thinking. It’s just doing what Allah created it for. Bipolars have a chemical imbalance which causes this shift in thoughts and feelings.

Through all this, remember you are you. The thoughts are not you and they don’t define who you are.

At the same time, managing the bipolar is your job. If you got a cut, you would clean it and bandage it.

Well, think of bipolar as a cut in your brain. All these ‘bloody’ thoughts are leaking. And you’re going to need to be very creative in bandaging it.

Looks like you’re already using some good bandages: medication, therapy and prayer. Now add exercise, healthy eating and a regular sleep schedule.

I’m happy that you’ve been in therapy for the last 4 years. I would advise you to keep this help. In the long run, therapy helps more than medicine.

For bipolar and other mental illnesses, there is no one magic pill. People often have to try all sorts of pills until they find what works. Sometimes they need a combination or cocktail of pills. So if you’ve tried every medicine out there, that is very normal.

Trust your doctor when it comes to medication (providing they are trustworthy). Work with them to reach wellness.

You’re on the right track with prayer. Keep praying as much as you can when you are able to.

Be honest with yourself and stay away from using bipolar as an excuse to miss salah. Do your best.

Allah knows you inside out.

Take good care of yourself,

Wasalam

Saba